Monday, December 13, 2010

Minha bonequinha chinesa (my little chinese doll)

Daniella came to this world on 9/30/2010. Ever since, I've been falling in love for this little girl, since day 1. In the hospital, I remember hearing her crying just like a girl, delicate and a high pitch voice, so cute! We bonded right away at the hospital, one day I just spend the whole time cuddling and singing for her. It was our first of many special moments.

Not only my love for her has increased but also Nolan's. He loved her since the first time he saw her, he keeps kissing her and calling her sweetie. Every night he wants to pray for her and when he hears her crying, he says she needs her "chupetinha". Yesterday, she was dedicated to God and as we prayed for her, Nolan placed his little hand on her head.

Now she started to smile, and each time she does it melts my head. She has a side smile that is the cuttest thing!

I love you, my little girl!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My sister love for me

One of the things I always took it for granted is the love coming from family... my sister , my best friend she has been by my side, through good and bad times... I just fell so much love that she shows me and I realized how I fail to say that I love her.

Today I said it, or better txt her. I said that I really appreciate all her help, all her love to myself and my family. She loves Nolan and Daniella so much.

Eu te amo, querida irma!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Share God's love

We are here at a church retreat and we've been learning simply how to be able to pray and reach out to people. The speaker talked about how we are so consumed by our own world or worries, and how we fail to simply spread the love of Jesus for each person.

All people has goodness, implanted by God and we are to see that and let it flourish. Don't place expectations in ourselves or how we fail to pray the good prayer. God is at work, regardless we do anything or not, but if we do something we are able to be part of his work. Isn't that amazing?? Wow, I really want to be part of it!

Remember that the reality of God's love for us is always present, no matter the circumstances, I don't need to accomplish anything else, He's already done that for me. I just need to let things and circumstances (good and bad) to the side, because that's not the focus of my life. God created me to love people and to show them He loves them too.

It's not about me but Him!

brother and sister bonding

Baby Daniella has been growing well and every night I feel her moving. She's so much loved already, Nolan calls her nene Dani, and kisses my belly all the time and says "I love you nene". It is such a cute moment that I can't even explain, seeing siblings bonding... I'm sure this is just the beginning.

I've been trying to really enjoy this moment with Lawton and Nolan before our 4th member comes in... we've been spending time together as a family, and it has been precious, I can really tell that Nolan hasve the most fun when it's the 3 of us. Today, we just played in bed for the longest time, we were laying on top of each other, and Nolan would just laugh so much... These are such simple moments that I don't want to forget ever!

Nolan is such a gentle child... he's very sensitive to the things around him, he understands so much now and he can communicate very well all things. I can tell how his heart is going to be gentle to love people around him, and how this gift from God can be used in his life and to those around him. His personality is gentle, kind, not selfish, affectionate, and loving. I love it, I love the fact that God send him to me and I'm so in love with him.

Pretty soon I will be experiencing having a second child. It will be a real different world for all of us, especially Nolan that will try to understand all of what's happening... but I know he will love her and care for her forever.

Thank you Lord for the blessing of being a mom and for these 2 little ones you gave us to take care and teach them all of you. I pray that we will become more and more like your son so that they can see your love for each one of them and they can overflow from this amazing love you have for them.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

We are having a baby girl!

It's confirmed, Nolan's going to have a little sis! I saw the ultrasound today and this girl moves a lot. I started to feel her moving 3 weeks ago and now she won't stop! Every night, before going to bed she kicks me and I just stand there to feel her... I'm so happy!!

Lawton will be surprised, he did not feel her moving yet... he's coming home tomorrow, I miss him a lot. I realize that each year my love for him changed, it has grown more and getting deeper... 4 years!

This time he was in Malawi was a good time for me to pray and rely on God so much more.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Papai is in Lali (Malawi)

Lawton left to Malawi a week ago and Nolan and I stayed how to support him in prayers. It was sad to see him go and Nolan knew he was leaving as we said goodbye at the airport.

We receive updates from Epicentre and that's how we know how he's doing. All the details are in the email and I get really excited to see how the team is doing. It's really amazing how God has been working in this process, not only in the Yao people but on the team itself.

Lawton has been amazing, I'm just so proud of him stepping out to go and have the chance to see God's work. I'm sure it's not simple but I'm sure every little bit counts, even if it would count just for one person. God has been working in our life so much through ETS, we so much want to be part of His work and his kingdom as a family, more than ever.

Personally, I am able to worship more freely because it is all for Him. Also, I have a deeper understanding of his purposes and his ways, even though I don't understand it completely, I am able to accept and continue to follow Jesus.

When I ask Nolan where is papai, he says he is in "Lali". This little guy has been growing fast, 2 days ago I was singing him "Jesus is beautiful" and he would say the words and the rythm, so cute that i had tears in my eyes when I heard him singing.

Baby #2 has been growing fast too, can't miss the belly poking out... and since 2 weeks ago, I started to feel movement, first very tiny and weak, now it's strong especially at night. Lawton hasn't felt that yet.

This sunday will be mother's day and my dear husband was thoughtful enough to send me, my mom and his mom flowers... I was touched. I miss him...

Friday, March 26, 2010

Papai's heart surgery

Right now papai is having a heart bypass surgery at Huntington hospital. A few days ago, we rushed him to the ER, due to chest pain... it has been a long and difficult process but we see how God protected and orchestrated each path of this process.

Not only just these few days but even before papai came. God is faithful, these past few days we were constantly praying for God's miracle to happen and so that papai could see His love in a tangible and real way. He did, and for the first time in my life I see my father owning his faith. And i got to experience God's people surrounding us with His love...

I was touched when some of my friends and my pastor (Lawrence) came to see papai and he was telling them what happened. He had teary eyes when he mentioned how he cried out to Him for help and how he answered. Today just before the surgery my pastor came again and led papai in a prayer time by saying Psalm 23 out loud with my mom citing it, really sweet to see that divine time with God as a couple.

Mamae and I are talking of just how much God had blessed and took care of papai, even when we did not see it.

Nolan misses Acon a lot, he keeps on asking about him and then he says: "Acon, pray pray?" So cute to see our little one having an idea of praying and feeling his presence. The other day, he said Sammie (Nolan's friend) out of the blue, and I wondered why he said his name. I then find out that she was out of town with mommy and feeling very homesick. He wanted to pray for her!! : )

Baby has been good, today we had a more detailed ultrasound and saw the little one moving a lot in my tummy. The baby waved at us, we could see the little hand and fingers and legs... cute!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

My little companion


I told Nolan today that he's my little companion. As the days go by and we spend time together I can see how our relationship has grown and how we love each other's company. It's really cute

For the past 2 weeks, Lawton got the chance to take care of Nolan by himself. I think it is the first time ever that he has done that and I'm so proud of him. He took Nolan to the park, fed him, bathe him, took care of the house, cooked dinner and did groceries shopping. These days they Nolan was papai's companion... I'm so happy to see them connect, it is really special to see the special bond that they have with each other, really cute! Lawton took this picture in one of their outings, at a coffe shop.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

ETS

Last month, we started going to ETS (Epicentre trainning school). It was a process to go through, I knew the sacrifices that would be necessary (time and energy, Nolan's sleeping deprivation, etc.) but Lawton and I realized that it would be a unique moment that we would be closer to God and see Him in so many different ways.

I've been praying for this, for about a year, I commited to pray for Lawton's faith to grow as a spiritual leader in the family. Now I realized the prayer was also for my own walk with God. Lawton decided to do the ETS before me, I was a bit hesitant thinking about the commitment necessary.

But I know that God has so many ways to reach to us and extend his love. One of the speakers (Floyd Mcclung) preached about the prodigal son. He said he thinks that this boy had a broken spirit, so much pain to be leaving his house in the search for something else outside.

This made me reflect about the miscarriage and how much pain I still feel and how I also feel like running away. But God demonstrated his love to me in this story, how He wants to reach that deep pain and comfort me. Just like the son, in the mist of desperation, remembered his father's love for him, I also remembered the love of the Father for me. He wants to restore my heart so that I can trust Him again and that it takes faith to know He will come through and heal me.

It's a process, I know it will take a while to heal the pain and disappointment. But to know that God loves me and He wants to speak to me, encourage me, tell me that he will never leave me, He's trustworthy, he will heal me because that will allow a transparent relationship with the Father.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

30 words

Is that a milestone? Our little Nolan can speak 30 words, all mixed up english, portuguese and cantonese! What a boy... some of them are: clock, airplane, apple, abre, coco, peixe, carro, tje-tje. Isn't my little one amazing? : )

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Psalm 139:7-8

Who would know that a one of Nolan's CD song would help me to go through this difficult time. When we found out about my miscarriage, I had this song in my mind:

Where can I go from your spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence, oh Lord
If I go up to the heavens, you're there
If I make my bed in the depths, you're there

Where's God?
Everywhere
Where's God?
Everywhere
God is everywhere

Psalm 139:7-8

It reminded me that anywhere I am, his presence is certain and it will help me go through anything.

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.


This verses have been in my mind for a few days. Since we saw our ultrasound of our baby 2 and were not sure if she was forming well. It's been a few tough days, yesterday I started bleeding and went to the ER just to find out that they were not able to see the baby. And I continued bleeding, this afternoon my doc confirmed the we were going through miscarriage. So, this is the time to mourn, baby was probably just 5 weeks old.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Vocabulary development

Some more words from Nolan. Purple for the color of markers I bought him, Nanana for his favorite banana. Also, Ama' and Acon were impressed to see him walking with his walker and as soon as he heard Acon's voice he started saying: "Aca', Aca'!" Acon was so happy and proud... Nolan misses them, I show him the picture and he repeats Aca' every time he see Acon.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sometimes it's easier to remember the bad days and forget about the good days... why is that? I have to remind myself that we have so many good days when everything seem to work out, all things are in place (or almost everything), and things go well at home.

But then some are really difficult. I know for sure that when I'm not good, Nolan knows right away. He can sense that something is wrong with mommy even when I try not to show him. I explained to him that sometimes mommy is not feeling too well, and that I's trying my best and it may not be perfect but I'm trying. He understands. He still smiles to me when he sees me. I wonder if that innocence ever will last.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Today Nolan learned to say "au-au" for dogs, so anything that is an animal he calls it au-au. He pointed to little cats and said au-au.

He also learned how to sign please by patting both hands on his tummy... hahaha, it was so funny... he also signs "more please".
He points to everything he see or wants, airplane is by far his favourite. He looks up, says wow and points to the sky. Also cars and of course dogs.

Ama' and Acon are having fun with Nolan, he keeps on repeting Aca' each time he sees grandpa, and they go together in the morning to buy newspaper. It's cute to see them interact.

During the days it is easy to see these moments passing by...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Nolan's 1st birthday!

Our little one turned one today! It's really been such an honor to be able to raise him and see how handsome he's getting each day... Today we had a special day with Acon and Ama', we went to a taiwanese food for lunch to celebrate both Nolan and Acon's birthday.

In the morning, we gave you your gifts, a swimming pool, a sand truck and a Yo Gabba-Gabba toy (brobee) that played a song and you smiled when you heard that.

In the afternoon, we used the swimming pool daddy bought for Nolan. He had a blast, at first he was a bit shy and unsure about where so much water came from but then he was even crawling and splashing water in the pool...

Ayi bought you a Elmo toy that talks, dances and tells stories, you're hypnotized and Ama' and Acon were laughing all the time.

Mamae has a gift for Nolan too but it's not ready yet.

Nolan brings much joy to us, I can tell how much joy he brings to Ama' and Acon. He can say Ama' and he says Aca' for grandpa. And they smile and laugh at the little things he does and admires him so much. Many times Nolan wants to walk to Acon and pat his belly... hehehe, it's really cute to see them playing...

Friday, July 31, 2009

A chicken named Pox

"So, there is the story of a chicken named pox that is trying to pay us a visit. Two weeks ago, we were in contact with her and we did not know it was her. Later on we found out that it was really the chicken. "

Two weeks ago Nolan, Caden and Miya were exposed to chicken pox and we were wondering if they were infected or not... since then, we (mommies) have been watching every single red dot that showed in their bodies and wondering if that is it... I have been hanging out with Sherri and Vanessa only, just to be on the safe side. So, we started calling us the "quarrantine group".

At the beginning I freaked out, as a normal first time mom... but then I realized that there was nothing I could have done or could do that will keep him 100% safe.

God is in control. I finally then surrender these things to God and it's like a heavy burden out of my shoulders.

For now, we wait... 1 more week with the "quarrantine group" : )

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Remebering the first and favourites

I was just trying to sleep and I couldn't stop thinking of how this year went by fast... Lawton and I were putting Nolan's pictures in frames and we were looking at how much he changed. Not only he has changed but I also changed with him. He really made me realize so many things in my life, like how capable I am to overcome difficulties and how much joy I'd never imagine on having such a simple life. Just by taking care of him and having a meaninful life, impacting his life in this world. I can imagine when he grows up how much more it will be!

So many first happened, Nolan had his first photo session at 3 months, when I was so desperately trying to register how tiny he was and how he already changed at that time. Then second session was now, at almost 12 months! Yes, our little baby is turning one! His first tooth came out when we were visiting Ama' and Acon in April 2009, his first word was "mumu" (for food), then his second word was mama (when he needed me), his third word is Ama' when he'd see grandma's picture in the computer., his forth word was Papa (of course!), he started turning the pages of his books at 7 months (seriously!), Nolan's first sign language was "more" where he'd clap his hands for food but now he does that when he wants something, he recently started pointing at Mila's bowl and said "mumu" = food. Then today at the restaurant he pointed to someone else's food and said "mumu!".

Nolan's favourite toy is the computer's keybord, where he bangs on it, then he found the mouse and started dragging it while I walk him around the house... His first steps was 2 months ago and after that nothing stopped him. The other day Lawton held his little hands and they were chasing Mila all over the house and he was laughing so much. He loves to come back home because he knows we're going to see Mila and he just started to put his face close to her mouth so that she can lick his face... and he ever opens his mouth : P

His favourite books are: "Historinhas da biblia" (where he have windows that he can flip), "Guess how much I love you?" (I usually change the characters to be Nolan and Mamae and he loves it!), The very hungry caterpillar (which he learned how to flap the book at the end when the caterpillar became a butterfy), "Pat the bunny"(he always stick the book on his face to smell the flowers).

Each day is different, each day there's something new... just today i was at the mall inside the store and Nolan called my attention, pointed outside and said "Uh". I looked and there was Yeh Yeh!

Yeah, I love to talk about him!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Lawton's first father's day

A week ago Lawton celebrated his first Father's day... my friends and I arranged a "surprise walk/run" in Culver City. It was really fun, Nolan was intrigued by so many people on the streets... Lawton has been such a great "Papa". I admire his patient and perseverance to do the best for Nolan and I and his love for us.