Coming back to my first love

Epicentre started a season of fasting and prayer where the main focus was to come back to our first love. I was a bit unsure whether or not to participate but then yesterday I decided to try. It will be a month to give up something in order to make space for God and see how he speaks to me. These are todays' verses for reflection

"I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness" Jeremiah 31:2

"O God, you're my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry weary land where there's no water" Psalm 63:1

Even though today was such a difficult and tiring day, I started with worship and I was so filled with God's love already. I was able to freely worship and I immediately started praying. I confess to Him how I am prideful about my faith and my perseverance and others don't, that I criticize myself a lot, and being harsh on myself every time something goes wrong. I wasn't tired anymore, it seems that a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders.

God spoke to me as to remind me that I am still his little girl. I thought of how much I love Nolan and understand so much more the love of the father for his children. That this love is unconditional and unending, always there no matter what I do, God will still love me. It was such a special experience that I am really excited to what's in store for this month.

Nolan and Ama'

Nolan just loves Ama' so much. He loves to talk to her and when he sees her, he has his open mouth smile, it is so cute.

The other day i was at the mall with my mom and Nolan and I was observing her interacting with him. She was showing him the carrousel's and he looked at it amazed on this big shinny thing... but what stayed in my head was how they were interacting, he looked so happy and content as well as my mom.

That moment I saw how happy she really was and how much she loves him. I believe that Nolan made her feel happier and more joyful, she has been such a blessing in my life and now in Nolan's life, I'll make sure he remembers that. And I know he'll miss her a lot when she's gone in 3 weeks.

I also became more aware that being a mom is just being selfless, forgetting about your needs and attending to my baby is my priority. And that one day, 35 years ago, she did the same for me.

Nolan's lesson for me

I've been noticing now how Nolan needs structure... eat every 3 hours (exactly), poop 2 times a day, sleep at 6 or 7. It made me learn to be ready for him, and i noticed how much effort i need to do so that I can achieve success. And he's teaching me to change.

2 months and 6 days

Lawton and I talked on how we cannot even imagine life without Nono.
He's such a blessing, a miracle and gift from God. He's been growing big and strong, today he's 2 months and 6 days, very strong willed, whenever he wants something done, he wants it immediately and his own way. He's also a good boy, he smiles and talks a lot (like daddy) especially in the mornings and he started suck his little hand. First, he places the hand in front of his face, then he sucks the knuckles and makes a face like: "ugh, what is that?" The cuttest thing in the world...

Diaper free baby

Today Nono had his first diaper free experience. We were so proud of him, my mom and I kept on complimenting him and he got so happy. He's a big boy now!

Probiotics did it!

End of the gassy days for Nolan!!! Nolan has been suffering with pain due to gas and bloating every day since week 2 and i was not able to find any solution to this problem... we tried everything, gas meds, massage, laying on his tummy, warm towels, and even more that I can't remember. Our doc said we need to wait until he grows out of it. That was happening almost every day, around 6pm.

I could not accept the fact that there was nothing we could do for him, to ease his pain. Nolan would cry loud, and I could see in his eyes how much that was hurting... i felt really helpless.

I read in a magazine about the same problem one mom had with her baby and she tried to use probiotics. I'm thinking that it's totally worth trying... and it worked really well. He had no more gas, bowel movements are normal and consistent. I'm so happy and thrilled to see him in a good mood and playing. I can't imagine something so simple worked so well, let's hope that it will keep that way.... YEAAAHHH!

Milestones

Nolan has been developing and growing really fast. Now he's almost 2 months, at night I'm able to feed him and then place him in the crib and he'll sleep on his own. Also, he know when feeding time is coming, he'd open his mouth getting ready. He's been smiling and looking in our eyes, and when he looks into your eyes, he's seeing your reaction to him. Just right at this moment as I type, he's laying in our bed and looking up to me, his forehead shows a line when he does that, and sucking his pacifier, I can almost hear him saying: "Mommy, what are you doing?". It's amazing how much 1 month makes so much difference. Now, he's playful, he loves to talk back to you and really loud too!