Psalm 139:7-8

Who would know that a one of Nolan's CD song would help me to go through this difficult time. When we found out about my miscarriage, I had this song in my mind:

Where can I go from your spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence, oh Lord
If I go up to the heavens, you're there
If I make my bed in the depths, you're there

Where's God?
Everywhere
Where's God?
Everywhere
God is everywhere

Psalm 139:7-8

It reminded me that anywhere I am, his presence is certain and it will help me go through anything.

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

This verses have been in my mind for a few days. Since we saw our ultrasound of our baby 2 and were not sure if she was forming well. It's been a few tough days, yesterday I started bleeding and went to the ER just to find out that they were not able to see the baby. And I continued bleeding, this afternoon my doc confirmed the we were going through miscarriage. So, this is the time to mourn, baby was probably just 5 weeks old.

Vocabulary development

Some more words from Nolan. Purple for the color of markers I bought him, Nanana for his favorite banana. Also, Ama' and Acon were impressed to see him walking with his walker and as soon as he heard Acon's voice he started saying: "Aca', Aca'!" Acon was so happy and proud... Nolan misses them, I show him the picture and he repeats Aca' every time he see Acon.

Nolan's 1st Bday party

Sometimes it's easier to remember the bad days and forget about the good days... why is that? I have to remind myself that we have so many good days when everything seem to work out, all things are in place (or almost everything), and things go well at home.

But then some are really difficult. I know for sure that when I'm not good, Nolan knows right away. He can sense that something is wrong with mommy even when I try not to show him. I explained to him that sometimes mommy is not feeling too well, and that I's trying my best and it may not be perfect but I'm trying. He understands. He still smiles to me when he sees me. I wonder if that innocence ever will last.

Today Nolan learned to say "au-au" for dogs, so anything that is an animal he calls it au-au. He pointed to little cats and said au-au.

He also learned how to sign please by patting both hands on his tummy... hahaha, it was so funny... he also signs "more please".
He points to everything he see or wants, airplane is by far his favourite. He looks up, says wow and points to the sky. Also cars and of course dogs.

Ama' and Acon are having fun with Nolan, he keeps on repeting Aca' each time he sees grandpa, and they go together in the morning to buy newspaper. It's cute to see them interact.

During the days it is easy to see these moments passing by...

Nolan's 1st birthday!

Our little one turned one today! It's really been such an honor to be able to raise him and see how handsome he's getting each day... Today we had a special day with Acon and Ama', we went to a taiwanese food for lunch to celebrate both Nolan and Acon's birthday.

In the morning, we gave you your gifts, a swimming pool, a sand truck and a Yo Gabba-Gabba toy (brobee) that played a song and you smiled when you heard that.

In the afternoon, we used the swimming pool daddy bought for Nolan. He had a blast, at first he was a bit shy and unsure about where so much water came from but then he was even crawling and splashing water in the pool...

Ayi bought you a Elmo toy that talks, dances and tells stories, you're hypnotized and Ama' and Acon were laughing all the time.

Mamae has a gift for Nolan too but it's not ready yet.

Nolan brings much joy to us, I can tell how much joy he brings to Ama' and Acon. He can say Ama' and he says Aca' for grandpa. And they smile and laugh at the little things he does and admires him so much. Many times Nolan wants to walk to Acon and pat his belly... hehehe, it's really cute to see them playing...